A Overweight, bald, African man. He always refers to himself in third person. He fought in the wietnam war were he had his best friend and his father die. He is insane, and somewhat crazy. He also HATES Asians due to his past wartime experience. When he gets old (He is 67) he wants to be a crime fighting ninja lawyer who in his spare time saves the universe from meteors using his super speed and strength. He hopes to one day to save opera Winfree from a meteor. I call him Cheese Slice

Cheese: Now boooyyyy, what did you say your name was again?

Ernie: My name is Ernie S-s-sir

Cheese: And what is that?

Ernie: That my pet turtle S-s-sir.

Cheese: Cheese don’t like turtle. Ya’ll know where turtles are from boy?

Ernie: Well I believe they are from….

Cheese: There from Nam boy! Viet-nam! One of them damn turtles blew up Chesses’s best friend! That dang turtle is a spy! Boy, you best kill that Asian thing before it dun start them next apocalypse.

Ernie: But sir….

Cheese: Ain’t no butts around here boy! Cheese’s wife left 30 years ago! She don’t told me I was crazy! Isn’t that something?

Ernie: I don’t know s-s-sir she might be….

Cheese: Boy shut your speakin hole! Cheese gots one of them idea things the Television talks about! Ok, 

Cheese gonna go grab Shirley and be back in 10 seconds flat.

(

Cheese wobbles up the stairs.)

Ernie: Sir! Who’s S-s-s-shirley?

Cheese: You dun’ gonna find out!

(Cheese runs down the stairs with a M16 rifle.)

Cheese: This here boy….. is Cheese’s girl, Shirley.

Ernie: …

Cheese: Now give Cheese that damn spy turtle! Cheese dun’ about to send a message to them damn viet-cog!